A race of 2 halves (and other Colville tales) and bad day is sometimes a good one - NO excuses, well maybe a couple...
So yeah I was feeling good all week, apart from the breathing/tight chest thingee issues + put my neck out = excuse card played but only worth a yellow card, not a red card like last years epic excuses I had used.....like "I did Karapoti the week before, the weather is shite, its not REAL mountain biking, I had to ride in the car with Cobra" etc etc.......but no excuses though, I still felt good race day, maybe too good and the Spanish hottie parked in her red VW behind us distracted me also (darken Sask) although lungs were average at the start (she took my breath away..).....I just was a bit too relaxed about the whole thing = 1st fail - no warm up (damn Spanish chick). It was a mint day too, surely everyone would want to cruise for about 40 minutes until I was warmed up?? Have I mentioned the spanish chick? (Maybe she was Brazillian....mmmmmm).....
....NOPE no warm up = fail I was in the front bunch with Jack Chapman, Scott Thorne, Jarod etc - even Scotty Raynes was there (somehow Bodo thought he was waaaaay up the road or something and ahead of us), but due to my 1st fail, as anybody knows who rides with me, if you want to have a crack, do it in the first 40 minutes of the ride.....Anyhow, after the pace went up a bit, I was just hanging on, then Bodo crashed his brains out 20 minutes into the race, about 50000 millimetres in front of me (off to a&e = AC joint + broken hand + grazing + stitches = Fail for Turbodo and a BIG bugger too) - he was riding the gravel like a muppet and nearly took Chris, Jack and myself out up the 2nd climb before his crash (which I have since had a "chat" with him about...he was disappointed this could affect any future Pain Train association or participation - rule #345 ) so that put bit of a damper on the whole proceedings to be honest.
Legs were saying go, lungs said nah not yet. So got dropped from the lead bunch by not making sure I was in the bunch on a climb (was just hovering off the back thinking I'll catch up on the downhill as I'm a demon on the gravel as you all know.....), which I should have held onto easy, as sitters Scollay and co were getting sucked along nicely with the others by the time they got to the flat road and yep never saw them again. Then to add to that, a bunch of fellow Tronites (but not able to go into the pain cave in comparison to us) Thomass, McGovern, Peploe and your grandma etc all rode past like I was standing still...farrrrrrrrrrrk.
Ole Rayne supreme was on me like a dry humping dog (as usual)....we were staying together but we are not that close yet ok Scotty....Anyhow I decided my race for any decent placing is now over, so cruise-ish until my legs come right.....normally when I do fail #1, this is usually about 40-45 minutes into the race/ride and yep - 45 minutes and 36 seconds after the start, up a steepish climb, I was back - up 3 gears almost instantly, caught and smashed past that "I"am sorry Ian Thomas, then past "more excuses than politician" McGovern within 20 minutes (they must have thought I was on drugs by the look on their faces). Once I got to the single-track, I picked up at least 60 riders in quick succession, including the underdog ginger mate of Scotty's (from the one eyed City of Canterbury) Dave was smoking along, but like all the other punters, should have pulled over for the single-track god that I am - we actually had some real mtn biking instead of all this roadie gay gravel drafting BS. It was mint too and fun! Once I hit the last steep climb out of the single-track (rode the whole thing no problem, almost threw it into the big ring just show how good I was going - everyone else was walking most of it hence I picked up more than 1000 places - even the semi-pro punter Scotty Thorne (thornado) ran some of it he said (and would have been faster than anybody too) so I was stoked with my form for that part anyway). So yep rode the whole rest of the race mostly on my own (or passed and picked up the odd wheel sucker and towed them along the coast then got rid of them when they stopped talking to me...or was it me that pissed them off from all my talking...nah). I had this funny feeling Beam me up (Scotty) was stalking me (again) but we were staying another night in Waitete bay, so he had plenty of time to try his moves then after 9 coronas....
Peploe was well gone with a strong bunch of Avery and co, so thought I'd never catch him with his current form of sitting on (after all the training and the Alpine Epic race he has just done - he said he climbed 7000m in 4 days!! Now that's a typical lawyer telling a few porkies I reckon....:-).
Such was the pace I was going at after all this passing (no one to chase, no one chasing me) I had a good ole yarn with this english guy who (wheel) sucked me from Fletchers bay for nearly all the way to the finish (he won the 155+ grade - Legend) strong old bugger though and was here visiting his daughter in TOORUNGA...WTF?(I think he meant Tauranga - Digi please confirm ;-) and doing winter training for up coming summer in the UK (races and manages a pro GAY team sponsored by the National Fire Service or something). One by one as I saw people in the distance, started to up the pace and pick them off, which then spurred me on to stop talking, which is unlike me of course... (and I could hardly understand what the pom was saying anyway between him trying to breath and telling me how good he was....I might still catch Peploe etc. I thought I saw him, then caught the guy and it wasn't him (same colour shirt). Then about 10 or so riders I caught and dropped, picking up the pace all the way (from 24-26 kph to 32-36kph on the flat - true, possibly faster.....yeah right). I thought I should let the pom do some work while I had a snack, but then the pace dropped back to 26 kph, so thought right, he's hurting (but it was nice and cruisy sitting on him all the same). I saw Patrick (Paddy to his mates ;-) Avery up ahead (on a CX bike) and he was hurting, more his arms than legs he said, but unlike all the other muppets I passed, I let him get on (I'm such a nice guy) and he's good. I thought great, we can take turns and up the pace to closer to a 50k average to try and catch more people....nope he said he was happy sitting on thanks, got out the KFC + some cream buns for desert, which is why his arms were smacked as he said (which with the road corrugations I'd believe also didn't help). With about 5km to go, I saw Peploe going up the 2nd to last climb about 1km away from me. Right, he's mine but I haven't got much time to catch him.....Up the pace we go. Dropped the old pom almost immediately (I bet he started whinging - typical) and thought I had shelled Paddy as well......nope. He was egging me on, saying I was storming along etc (highlight of my day being told that by a legend). So I put the hammer down up the climb, down the other side then Matt (Peploe) looked around, then had another look in surprise and I could tell he thought "where the hell has he come from, I thought there was only one Superman". I pulled up beside him just before the last climb, with 2km to go, did a bit of a Lance look to see what he had.....just like Arnie the Gurninator had arrived....
After a bit of cat and mouse, tickle and a poke, Paddy told me stop mucking around teasing Peploe, there are 500 guys 500m back hammering in a bunch towards us (bloody excuse #58 McGovern and co as it turned out). So up the last climb we hammer, I thought Peploe would have me to be honest - crikey he weighs 45kg or something and he needs a good feed I reckon, but he wasn't biting into my ample stash of mancake if I could help it, so at that thought, Paddy and I smashed it and I had a heap left in the tank so it was good to hear Paddy breathing hard also (possibly because he was behind me once again checking out the goods....funny that he wanted to stay behind all that time....don't be jealous Scotty ok). He told me he'd tow me to the finish for doing all the work (or something), so with the agreement made (just like Jan and Lance on the Le Tour), we smoked off down the hill, only problem was, my 2x9 with a 39 on the front was not big enough (ok Scotty yeah yeah) to keep up easily, so at my terminal and spin velocity, he had to back off a bit to 65k on the road home (slight headwind) and yeah now I was hurting....lead me across the line and let me take the "win" as it were. Damn nice young fella, had a good yarn at the finish etc, so I reckon the future of the sport is in good hands with such a humble legend in the making (like his brother Clinton no doubt) if not just a bit too happy to riding behind me.
All in all, not the result I was wanting (a sub 3 and top 3 in 35+) and lets face it Scollay beat me and he NEVER beats me....often, but that's my fault really and he had a blinder so stoked for him (could be a JAFA PT member if he plays his cards right).....still I really enjoyed the ride, single-track and conditions were great, as was the riding and drinking company - better than a good result sometimes I think. The Mussel fritters were sublime as usual too - main reason I do this event to be fare!
Seriously though, a special thanks to Scotty, Dell and Dave for putting us up and Scotty for putting up with the BS being told after 5 Stella's, 4 Coronas and 2 glasses of wine (no hangover though so again stoked with that!). Also as per every other race in the last year or so, the bike has been mint and so has the service etc - thanks Cycology ;-). Koob (Rach) had a good ride in the 24km and great support as usual. Thanks also for the great Pain Train team that I trained and rode with who enjoyed dropping me earlier on in the season and learned training is not like racing in the end though........;-))))
